Something that has been on my mind recently is why am I here? I am at college trying to balance all of my schoolwork with 3 hours of practicing my instrument every day. I am starting to feel like playing my instrument is becoming more like a chore that I do not look forward to. Which is terrible right?! I used to just pick up my trumpet and play it when I wanted to because I wanted to. Which was actually quite often because I loved it and I loved getting better just doing my own thing. But now I have countess etude books to prepare every week at a lesson (sometimes not spaced out very well), material to prepare for master class every week, Orchestral repertoire to prepare to perform on my weekends, and not to mention the music that is expected to be perfect at rehearsals and concerts for Wind Ensemble, Symphony Orchestra, and Chamber Music. It is all too much!!
Now don’t get me wrong I do love performing and the feeling of making great quality music. However, all the time in between is rough sometimes and I never realized all that is demanded of a college trumpet player here at SMU. I would never want to give up my place here and I am very thankful for the fact that I successfully auditioned here. But lately I have had to remind myself a countless number of times that I love music and there are about 50 other kids that auditioned for the two spots here in the studio.
I am blessed... but stressed!!
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